Cruciformity

Well… It has been a while. The last thing I remember writing before the insanity hit was how exhausting buying a house was (via twitter). I had no idea.

… It has been a few weeks since that point. We have a contract on a house and we are just waiting for the financing to work out.

… I "broke" twitter. I was getting into the swing of using it, I turned it off for a few days when I was really busy, and it has never turned back on. I can’t figure out why.

… I joined M. Besides being a "clean version of MySpace", it is a group of people who seem to think the way I’ve been thinking lately. It is a group of Super Heroes trying to save the universe.

… I am reading through the book of Acts with a group of guys on Tuesday Mornings. It is pretty slow going right now, but I have found it interesting how as my job and perspective have changed, I am picking up so many new things I never noticed before. Very good stuff.

… On Alex’s blog the other day he posted about the 4 turnings. I really dig this idea, but one of the things I started thinking was how circular and non-linear our faith really is. We have taught the gospel as a linear progression from no knowledge of God to fully committed, yet in my life, I find myself turning back through the process and recommitting in different ways and at different levels. This really deserves a lot more time and thought, but read Alex’s post and comments.

… My boss is gone this week. I have a couple guys who are coming in to help this week. They have all worked for Garden Music before, but my current regular staff is all out of town. Should be a crazy week.

… Next week I head to camp. Seventh, Eighth and Ninth graders. It is going to be awesome. I have not had the free time this year the way I have in the past to think through all of this as well as I would have liked, but I have an awesome staff for this week. I am hoping to take pictures through the week and keep everyone updated.

… I am still not certain where God is going to land me. Some days I think I will end up back on staff with New Horizons. Some days I think God might be preparing me for something different than the typical church. Some days I am happy working for the music store. Other days I think that the music store is the right idea, but maybe God has some other business in mind for me and the music store was just a good training ground. And then the old idea of teaching keeps coming back. Of course a lot of the confusion comes from the adventurer part of me that love to just buy and RV and travel the country.

Anyways… hopefully that catches you up. It really serves more as a brain dump for me. The month of July is going to be overwhelming. I am planning to be a better blogger than I was in June. I August we’ll have a huge bash at the new house. The first of many great parties to come.

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This post cross-posted at ChrisMarsden.com and in Voxtropolis, the city of voices. I wrote it sitting on the couch at House Blend Cafe.

M is for people who want to make a difference.

M is connections beyond time and space.

M is a pooling of super hero resources to transform the world we are in.

M is for you.

Sign up now, and don’t forget to add me as your friend.

If I recognize and accept that my past failures are forgiven, then I need to quit carrying them with me. And if my past failures are of no value, why do I feel the need to live off the glory of my past success.

It is inevitable that at some point I will fail again. And yet I can not allow the possibility of failure to keep me from risking. Without risk, there will be no success. And yet, we can not live on the promise of future glory.

I need to live today. Success or failure, today is what we are given. We must make the most of it.

I posted some quotes from origins the other day and broke one of them down today. Check out ChrisMarsden.com.

So I blogged that I was in LA recently and Gwen commented that I should keep my eye out for her Pastor, Mike Harris. Sure… OK. In the back of my mind, I’m thinking there is no way I am going to find one person out of 1800 when the first name is Mike.

But wouldn’t you know it. A few minutes later I sit down at a table next to Alex to drink my coffee and check my email and Alex introduces me to this guy Mike. "You wouldn’t happen to be Mike Harris, would you?"

Yep. Out of 1800 people, I sat down with Mike Harris.

Unfortunately, I didn’t really get the chance to talk with him much, but I still find it really strange.

I had another strange connection experience involving twitter while I was in LA. You can read about it here.

I almost never read forwards. For some reason, I read this one. It feels a bit like my life lately. Hope you enjoy.

THE CAB RIDE

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It’s nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you’re such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It’s not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don’t mind," she said. "I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don’t have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don’t have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I’m tired. Let’s go now"

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.

"Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT ‘YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

You won’t get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people.

But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.

I’m back and posting… just not here yet.

Check out ChrisMarsden.com.

I am having a blast at Origins.

And for those of you waiting for updates… I am posting (a little) over at chrismarsden.com. I am also twittering some of my thoughts and activities.

See you all soon.

Tags: origins, mosaic

Several months ago I decided I would go to Origins this year. I had heard about it on and off for a long time and it seemed like many of the connections God was making and the questions I was asking made Origins the natural next step.

So I bought my ticket, got my plane tickets lined up, and made plans.

Well it snuck up on me and now I leave today. I am really not sure what to expect. Not sure what to expect of the conference or what God might have in store for me. He continues to stretch me and I am excited to see how He is going to use the week to stretch me further.

I am looking forward to the long flight and the chance to get some stuff done. Expect a bunch of posts over the next few days, both stuff I’ve been meaning to write that I am hoping to catch up on, and stuff from Origins.

See you in LA.

Cross posted at chrismarsden.com and cruciformity.voxtropolis.com

People want to do great things. As we come to Christ, we come to realize that often times it is not us doing great things but God doing great things through us. And that is cool.

It is still me doing great things, only I don’t have to do all the work. God is going to do it through me.

But this morning I realized that It is not even God doing great things through me. It is God doing great things and I get to be a small part of that plan.

Think for a minute about Gideon. What exactly did he do? I have referenced Gideon for years about a nobody doing incredible things for God, but really he did nothing. He rounded up the troops and obeyed, but God did all the work, and Gideon got to be a part of it.

It really is the same thing, I suppose, but the change in perspective is important in my understanding of my place in the world. If I don’t recognize that God is doing amazing things, with or without me, than I am likely to begin to believe that I am more important than I really am.

So here’s to God doing amazing things. And here’s hoping I get to be a part of them.